My Babies are Growing Up!

I have two graduations this week... TK is graduating from high school and tomorrow Eloise is graduating from kindergarten!

He did like me taking this photo, but it was his last day of high  school ever!

Wow, two great milestones for both of the kids!

So proud of them... my Kindergarten grad and High School grad!

I am in love with this photo... they are getting along and I love their size difference! I have awesome children and so blessed to be a stroke survivor to be in their lives!

It has been a wild ride through this school year for me, I still feel a little like the village idiot at times, send out many emails with questions for teachers and principals and I am happy to say I got all of TK's things in on time for graduation, plus he got a 5 year scholarship at the University of Findlay!  I am so blessed that I am here to share all of this happiness with my children!  I also love the teachers at Avon Lake High School for always having my back if anything was late, I lost just about everything and always being there for TK during my recovery and still today!

I have learned to read better with Eloise and she is a great reader due to all of the reading we have done together, she is a great speech therapist for me and TK has and is doing a great job motivating me to exercise and get this gimpy body moving!

I am going to be a mushy pile of goo this weekend and I am not mentally ready for this and with not having a short term memory, I can't prepare for this... the the tears will be flowing!

I am a proud mama, a mama that is still kicking recovery's butt and lucky to be here to share these special days with my children and family!

More milestone news is that my step-daughter Emma is moving from Elyria, Ohio to Eugene, Oregon to go to school... PJ and her will be driving out to Oregon together in 2 weeks, I will miss her so much.  When TK goes to college at the U. of Findlay, it will be only 2 hours away.

Eloise and Emma... sister love!

My babies are growing up!

Kindergarten Dilemma... Over Thinking Again!

OK moms and teachers out there... I have an issue that is just not me. I have always been the over the top teacher gift giver, mainly for TK's teachers, Eloise is just starting out and she has the brain damaged mom, but I do not want to give her teacher a gift, I can not name anything over the top she has done as a kindergarten teacher... I give her a C- as a teacher, she is my age, so not too young or too old... she is in her sweet spot as a teacher, as an Avon Lake teacher to boot... she is not dealing with inner city students or parents or a nonexistence budget.

I love teachers, I love teaching and I love supporting all teachers, but no special projects, does not return emails, loses field trip permission slips, no grandparents can come to kindergarten graduation (which I believe Peg is crashing!) and she always looks overwhelmed... I brought my own muffins to "Muffins for Moms", I used to have the children make the muffins. Eloise has loved her experience and does not know how I feel, but I just don't feel the love to get her an appreciation gift. I made her green jade heart earrings for Valentine's day... I hade crafted them because Jade can help you realize your full potential and attain purposeful goals. Jade also helps lift stuffed-down emotional issues and bring them to light for resolution... which I thought she needed ... no thank you card and Eloise said she has never worn them! I wore all the lovely gifts the children made me... whether it was a paper fan taped to my shirt for the day or a gold plated necklace from a gumball machine. I still hang ornaments made from past students on my Christmas tree every year!

OK, I have already made he a pretty beaded garden pretty ( I don't know what to call it)... but I think she may just get a card.

Eloise LOVES her sub teacher Mrs. Petkash, she was her preschool teacher and now gets super excited to tell me that her teacher was sick and she had Mrs. Petkash! She loves her librarians, art teacher, music teacher, Mr. Dick her gym teacher, the school secretary and the principal... but her teacher is just bblllaaahhhhhhhhhhh... which kindergarten is a foundation and a foundation should not be blah!

I may be being selfish, but she teaches 1/2 day kindergarten and Eloise loves school, but I just wish she was getting what I know most children get out of kindergarten... she did not even take them to the zoo... every kindergarten class goes on the dreaded zoo trip... TK still has photos taken with his friends at the zoo in kindergarten and loves these photos.

I may be being bitchy, but I just feel like Eloise was jipped out of her kindergarten experience. Can she read, count, do easy math and have social awareness, YES... but where was the fun!!!!? She is my kid and I want my kid to have the best... I am over doing this and I will let this go once I have written this post.

OK, I am now stepping off my soap box... I posted this on FaceBook... so I really got my venting out there!

My New Life as a Soccer Mama

I think I have said it before, since the strokes, I don't like all social settings, I have to feel secure... I am very personable and very social, but I have an issue with strangers now. I love my family, friends and co-workers, I even love the schools I work with and the folks that attend my trainings, but I have issues with new people. TK is graduating, I had a blast with all the great friends I have met through his school, sports and mainly football... I have WONDERFUL friends through the world of football... now that Eloise is in kindergarten and almost 1st grade, I do not really like the parents, or I should say I do not like them socially. I had a bunch of friends and I love them very much. I don't know these people and I do not feel confident around them, I feel like a studdering fool around them and can't let my guard down. This is very unlike me. I have taken Eloise to birthday parties and on play dates and have even had tea at the park with parents, but I just don't like it... but I do it for Eloise. Now she is in soccer, and she is an AWESOME soccer player, very aggressive and a go getter, I love it, I love sports and adore watching my children play their team sports! I have never been very exposed to the world of soccer, my stepson Nate played and I loved watching him play, but I am not used to the days of team snack after the games, field chairs, sunscreen and socializing with these parents that come to the field with their rhinestone encrusted back pocket jeans and full make up at 9 AM on a Saturday, I am in my yoga pants and my "Hello,is it me your looking for" Lionel Richie t-shirt... the other spectators are lucky if I get a bra on.  

I was a young parent with TK, I was 21... so I am an older parent with Eloise, but the other soccer parents are a wide range of ages.  I just feel like an outsider, but it is OK... I am just not ready for the mini van or the car pooling.... I do not think most of these other mothers work, I work full time and work my butt off, I do not have the time to go the the gym and look good in the rhinestone jeans, but I like myself and I am slowly opening up to these soccer people.  

My Panther team mate taking a water break!

Eloise has a met a friend, Sofia, she is also in kindergarten and I like her parents and I am comfortable with talking to them.  I may just be a big baby, but this starting over at kindergarten when TK is now graduating from high school is just hard on me.  I am not a super hero and it is hard for me to understand that I do not have to be bothered with my speech issues and who cares if I have now short term memory, most of my other friends have too much on their plates and are slowly loosing minds too.

I love watching Eloise play soccer and I think I will be in the soccer world for a long time, so her smiles make it all worth my struggling with confidence and she is pushing me out of my comfort zone without even know she is helping her mama out!

HELP ME!!!!!

Today is January 9, 2012 and I want to pull my hair out.  I miss the warmer weather and I miss the sun!  Eloise is driving my insane! She has a lot of energy and it very difficult to have her housed in without taking bike rides and trips to the park to rrrruuuunnnnnnnnnnnnnn around!

Tonight we have played dominoes, colored, made frozen pizzas and played with her troll dolls and it is only 6:53 PM.  We made necklaces, she loves anything art and I love art which it great, but if I could have only had her make the necklace on a tread mill!

I do not know if I can do this all winter... I need an outlet for her energy in our small house! I am tired, her dad is hiding in the bedroom and TK is up in his room... I wish we had running room in the house.  She needs a runner like a dog!

We play doll house, Barbies, computer games, art EVERYTHING, cook, play board games... all the time and she just needs fresh air and she needs to release her energy!  I love her energy, but this is challenging, I may have to start jogging with her!

I have to think of what I did with her last winter while I was home on sick leave. If I did it last year while rehabbing from a stroke, I can figure out how to release her energy this winter... I am MOM, hear me ROAR!

Mischief the Elf

I do not know if you had an ELF ON THE SHELF or not during Christmas, but we did and it was so much fun! It was something I have about from many "yuppy" like mothers, the kind I like to trip in the grocery store... but due to Kindergarten peer pressure, I got one for Eloise.

He was cheesy and looked like a $2.99 Elf, but NO... he was a 30 dollar elf that came with a book! Since most of Eloise's pals at school had an elf, she haddddddddd to have one too.  So while at Barnes and Noble, I let her get one... a blue eyed, light haired elf (just an FYI... they have dark skin elves too!).

Eloise named her elf Mischief, since she wanted a trouble maker of an elf.  See, the elf, Mischief sits somewhere in your house and keeps an eye on your children... then each night before Christmas, he flies back to the North Pole and reports Eloise's behavior to Santa... I can't believe my Eloise wanted someone like this... if you know Eloise, she is the mischief!

Well, the elf does not move by itself, I had to remember each night to move him, and with not having a strong short term memory, it was a difficult task.  At first, it was a pain, but T.K. and I really had fun moving the elf every night... we got silly with it.  The funniest place was in the freezer!  Every morning, Eloise would look for Mischief.... and once Santa had a write a note to her reminding her to be on her best behavior... she listened to the litter... since it was from Santa!

 My friend's husband plays Santa and when I Eloise went and saw him, he said he likes talking to Mischief at night about Eloise's days... this blew her mind!


Well, Mischief had to go back to the North Pole on Christmas Eve with Santa and he will return some time after Halloween (if I remember)... but it was kind of sad, we had more fun than Eloise finding him each day, than we had hiding him.  Good times and great Christmas memories!

Parent of an ADULT!

On Monday, September 12th, Tyler Kelsey (T.K.) Burk turned 18! How did this happen, when did my baby boy, my sweet mama's boy get to be 18 in front of my eyes, I am taking this pretty bad, I am sad!

Sounds crazy that I am sad, but I just love this guy, we have been through thick and thin, mostly just the two of us! He and P.J. can have conflict at times (my protective boy!) and I believe he liked being an only child (although he used to beg for a little brother and got Eloise!) But we are a family and are learning to communicate.



All grown up... so proud of my son!

 




My Little Guy... always a fan of food!

  

T.K. drove me to the hospital when I finally went to the hospital for my stroke... in my head, it was still just the Xanax! He stayed by my side for about 2 days, listening to the doctors and even staying all night in a very uncomfortable chair, listening to my "neighbor" asking for Jesus to take her up to heaven and calling out for help... she would also count all night too, neither one of us got any sleep that night!

If I am this upset with him turning 18, what will happen when he goes off to college next fall... oh Lordy, I will be a hot mess!

I am 39, have had 4 major strokes, going through "the change", loosing my bladder control and have an 18 year old son, not all in my original plan, but this plan is pretty good too, I have an awesome son and daughter, a fabulous supportive family, a great boyfriend with "living in sin" step children who make me giggle (of course P.J. and I have problems, but doesn't!), two crazy cats, a fun job that lets me use my imagination and helps pay the bills and I am alive... I love my backup plan... who needs their original plan!

I learned yesterday that T.K. has a homecoming date already and he has been nominated for homecoming king... that's my handsome boy, I am so proud of him... ( I won't get into his lazy, messy ways today)!!!!

I love you T.K.!

Milestone!

Today our family hit a milestone... Eloise rode her bike without training wheels! My brother, Denny did it with her, without whining! Her Dad has really been working with her, but she just took off this afternoon and rode her bike all evening, I am so proud of her! My baby girl started kindergarten and now rides a two wheeler!  I love being a mom and thankful to be recovering and healthy to witness this!

Thankful for this week

"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." ~ Dr. Seuss

What a terrific week... flat broke, but a wonderful week spent with my family!

I had 2 and a 1/2 months off of work in the winter to recover, by no means was it a vacation, I worked half days for over 2 months, this was no leisure time either... this week of "stay"cation was heaven doing nothing but much needed spring cleaning and family bonding. I "rid" out over 9 bags of "hoarder" junk from my closet, 9 loads of laundry, cleaned the scary basement, Eloise's room, some of the garage, my car and prettied p the front yard... hard work that made my super tired, but I am so glad I am on top of the house mess again.

I was able to watch T.K.'s football practices and the first game of the season, is was a huge loss, but he played very well. I am so proud of T.K. and can't wait to see him play college football next year. He stated his senior year of Avon Lake High School this week, I cried, cried!

Eloise and I went to many parks, rode bikes, went to Kiddie Park, the zoo, the fair and the lake... I wish I had her energy! Eloise started kindergarten yesterday... I did not cry about this, but was a little sad, I can't believe she is getting so big! Crazy having a senior and a kindergartner!

P.J. went to the grocery store with me and helped me stick to my list... my new budgeting learning is in whole affect!! And we had a really fun night last night laughing at one another sitting outside.

I get frustrated with myself lately and my obstacles, but I really appreciate the week I had to get to know myself and time to get rest, organize and laugh! This week was fabulous and just what my brain needed!

A reading nightmare...

Eloise (my 5 year old) is napping at my parent's house so I am going to do some reading. I am getting better reading to myself, but it is so hard to read out loud. I read to Eloise all the time, she does not notice how I read, but I used to be an awesome story telling when I taught preschool. I know it will get better, but this is challenging.

As an adult trainer, I would have the trainees take turns to read out loud, I will never do this again, I do not want to read aloud in from of my peers, someday.