45 Life Lessons and 5 to Grow On... Good Stuff

Plain Dealer writer Regina Brett originally wrote this article May 26, 2008 and has recently updated it with 5 new life lessons... I would cancel a few and add others, but this is great list just as Regina wrote it!

Regina Brett 

If you know me, I stink with money, and do not have credit cards to pay off, what is a savings account and I am so bad at asking for help... I will try to achieve these life lessons by following number 2, small steps!

Another powerful point on this list is number 42... Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.

17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.

18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Overprepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

36. Growing old beats the alternative - dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.

38. Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

42. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

43. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

45. The best is yet to come.

46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

48. If you don't ask, you don't get.

49. Yield.

50. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

A Sprinkle of Happiness

What if today, we were just grateful for everything?

Here are few reminders of why we work so hard to rock recovery and be survivors, never victims!

Overcoming Negative Thoughts!

I taught a class on physical activities guidelines in quality after school programs yesterday, that was a mouthful, but I discuss ways to incorporate at least 60 minutes a physical activity into an after school program and I do activities for the adult participants to join in.  Well, there was a nasty woman in the class and wanted to debate the guidelines and how I was not discussing how to modify the activities for children or teachers with special needs... DID SHE KNOW WHO SHE WAS TALKING TO????? ... I certainly do modify every activity I teach to allow any child or adult to participate... but she wanted to modification

written down, which they were not written, yet implied... well, anyway, this woman made the training very difficult for me and I try my best to find the positive within a negative, but it can be hard at times. Just like when I work with children with special needs, I help them discover what they can do, not what they can't do.

I read the following article about banning negativity and I wanted to share it... it is very simplistic yet meaningful!

It is written by Michelle Uy on the http://tinybuddha.com/  website.

"When we start to have negative thoughts, it’s hard to stop them. And it’s much easier said than done to shift your focus to positive thoughts. But, it’s the only way—especially if you want to avoid going down a path that is painful and unnecessary.

Here are 10 things I did to help overcome my negative thoughts:

1. Meditate or do yoga.

One of the first things I did was head to a yoga class. It took my focus away from my thoughts and brought my attention to my breath. Yoga is also very relaxing which helped ease my mind. Yoga helped me stay present to my experience so instead of jumping to what could happen, it brought me back to the now—the only moment, the most important moment.

2. Smile.

I didn’t do much of this during the weekend so I literally had to bring myself in front of a mirror and force myself to smile. It really does help change your mood and relieve stress. I also felt lighter because it takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown.

3. Surround yourself with positive people.

I called a friend who I knew could give me constructive, yet loving feedback. When you’re stuck in a negative spiral, talk to people who can put things into perspective and won’t feed your negative thinking.

4. Change the tone of your thoughts from negative to positive.

For example, instead of thinking We are going to have a hard time adjusting to our living situation, replace that with We will face some challenges in our living situation, but we will come up with solutions that we will both be happy with.

5. Don’t play the victim. You create your life—take responsibility.

The way I was thinking and acting, you would think I was stuck. Even if our living situation becomes unbearable, there is always a way out. I will always have the choice to make change happen, if need be.

6. Help someone.

Take the focus away from you and do something nice for another person. I decided to make a tray of food and donate it to the Salvation Army. It took my mind off of things and I felt better for helping someone else.

7. Remember that no one is perfect and let yourself move forward.

It’s easy to dwell on your mistakes. I felt terrible that I acted this way and that I wasted our weekend. The only thing I can do now is learn from my mistakes and move forward. I definitely don’t want to have a weekend like that again.

8. Sing.

I don’t remember lyrics very well and it’s probably the reason that I don’t enjoy singing, but every time I do sing I always feel better . When we sing, we show our feelings and this provides an amazing stress relief.

9. List five things that you are grateful for right now.

Being grateful helps appreciate what you already have. Here’s my list: My cats, health, a six-week trip to Asia, a new yoga class that I’ll be teaching, and for my mom’s biopsy coming out clean.

10. Read positive quotes.

I like to place Post-It notes with positive quotes on my computer, fridge door and mirror as reminders to stay positive. Also, I’d like to share with you a quote by an unknown author that was shared in a meditation class that I attended:

Watch your thoughts, they become words.
Watch your words, they become actions.
Watch your actions, they become habits.
Watch your habits, they become your character.
Watch your character, it becomes your destiny."

Happy positive thinking!

I Am Not A Poet and Know It!

I read this poem and I like it, I am not poetry's biggest fan, but I can read it well for speech therapy reasons.

Life is precious and sometimes we take advantage of our day to day lives:

LIVE LIFE:

Life is crazy, 

and totally unpredictable...

It's going to push you over,

kick you while you're down

and hit you when you try to get back up.

Not everything can beat you.

Things are going to change you, 

But you get to choose which ones you let change you.

Listen to your heart,

Follow your dreams,

And let no one tell you what you're capable of.

Push the limits,

Bend the rules,

And enjoy every minute of it.

Laugh at everything,

Live for as long as you can.

Love all,

But trust none.

Believe in yourself,

And never lose faith in others

Settle for nothing but only the best,

And give 110% in everything you do.

Take risks,

Live on the edge,

Yet stay safe,

And cherish every moment of it.

Life is a gift,

Appreciate all the rewards,

And jump on every opportunity.

Not everyone's going to love you

But who needs them anyways.

Challenge everything,

And fight for what you believe.

Back down to nothing,

But give in to the little things in life,

After all, that is what makes you.

Forget the unnecessary, 

But remember everything,

Bring it with you everywhere you go.

Learn something new,

And appreciate criticism.

Hate nothing,

But dislike what you want.

Never forget where you came from,

And always remember where you are going.

Live Life to its fullest,

And have a reason for everything,

Even if it's totally insane.

Find Your purpose in life,

and Live it!

(Not sure of it's author)

Day by Day

For some reason this has been very hard to learn... "day by day".

I want things right now. I am a hard worker, but I am a person who likes instant gratification, a sad trait.

Having a stroke has really made "day by day" stick.  I had to work hard to get my right hand have the little movement it has, I have had to work hard to learn to read once again, I have had to work hard to learn to write again... learn my number again, increase my memory, increase my memory (hehehehe), etc...  It has been a long  14 months, but I have grown so much... the little things that bother me, I am letting them go, I worry about my own problems before other's issues, I have learned to say "no" (which is so very hard to do!) and I take time for myself.  I may not have the social life I had before, but I like spending "me" time... the knitting, beading and walking I do are therapeutic and are helping me heal and get stronger.

Day by Day...  I am increasing my knowledge of this statement, day by day.

My special and strong willed right hand!

My lovely left hand, she has been a trooper !

Heavy Hearted

I am an upbeat person, I have flaws, who does not have flaws.

I am a stubborn person, which is why I believe I have come so far in my stroke recovery.

I have learned to allow others to help me, this was difficult for me, I like to do things for myself (just like my even more stubborn daughter!).

I take pride in my recovery, I have saw other stroke survivors at the hospital and therapy appointments that do not do their homework or challenge themselves.  I have worked so hard everyday to have what little material possessions, they are material... not people, family, friends... this is what matters, sure, I LOVE getting new Pandora beads for my bracelet or browsing Vera Bradley purses at the mall... but it is just stuff.

BUT... I need to get ugly of a hot second! ...

What gives me a heavy heart is the people touching my family and life in a negative way.  Jealousy and materialistic characteristics are getting in the way of their own hard work.  In life, hard work shows and taking the easy way out does not get you very far.  This person or two are really hurting me and my best friend.  Money comes and goes, but family is there forever... these people are the lowest people I know and wish they knew what hard work was and would focus on their problems instead of putting them on us.  Work hard to get what you want, do not try to bully others and take what they work for.  These people are so ugly in my eyes and that sad thing is that they claim to be God fearing individuals, would Jesus ruin someone's life for money... would Jesus break apart a family.

Any type of recovery is tough... health recovery, money recovery, loss of a loved one recovery... any type of recovery takes work... so please... keep my tiny family in your prayers and send your fabulous positive vibes our way so that this cancer in our lives decides to make the right decision and work on their own issues and leave us out.

Stress is a killer, the silent killer and I do not need this stress in my life.  Handle your problems, seek help if needed... but never find the easy out.

I am taking the high road and not dragging this ungodly person's name through the mud, but she or these people need to clean up her own family and leave ours alone... stop pulling on our purse strings an move on. I have also noticed that even with my aphasia, I can clearly say... BITCH and F***ING BITCH comes out quite clear also. I have learned forgiveness and letting go through therapy and that life is too short... but this forgiveness will be a long time coming, if any forgiveness... but I will let it go... I will let these people out of my life and their stress!

I am now stepping down off the soap box... it feels good to vent on the internet! Sorry for being a slight bummer.

Happy Birthday to Me!

I am posting a little late, but it has been one year since I had a stroke! It is a new year for me and I am so happy to be here and sharing my thoughts with you!

I have learned that you say, "Happy Birthday" to survivors... I like this idea and supports my thoughts on being a survivor and not a victim. I really do not like when friends, family or acquaintances refer to me as a stroke victim, which is very common... a lesson learned by me to never to call a cancer survivor a victim either.

I have had a CrAzY year to say the least... I had to re-learn to read, (very challenging as an adult), re-learn to write, re-learn my basic life information, figure out how to use my gimpy hand on a daily basis, figure out how to drink with a common cup with a numb mouth, learn to overcome StReSs, learn to get rest when my body and mind need it and learn to be a healthier me.

I never want to have another brain trauma... ever!

I am dealing with the weight I am gaining, but not well, so as a birthday gift to my brain, I am going to incorporate physical activity into my daily routine... if a stroke didn't kill me, this weight will... I need to shed it, I really hate it!

I love my family and friends that have put up with me, mainly my mom... she is my angel! Julie at work, Molly for being back in my life and making me laugh, T.K. for growing up a little too quickly while being there for me... I could not have healed without my superstars.

The medical bills are still there, I still have doctor appointments and I still have residuals... but I am here and happy.

I did it; I rehabbed myself to be better, not the old Lori, but a new, different Lori that I love so much!

I did not make myself a cake... maybe I will make one on Thanksgiving! 

Happy (re)Birthday to me!

I LOVE Sophia Petrillo!

I have always had a problem with filtering what I say, nothing new to anyone. I have been the person to never say NO. This has changed since the stroke. I had a left hemisphere stroke, it messes with language skills. When I mouth vomit now, I think of my hero Sophia Petrillo from The Golden Girls!  She was a stroke survivor on the show and that makes me love her character even more!

I like how I do not let some folks push me around anymore and I have learned how to say NO!  I can't believe that some of my thoughts just pop out of my mouth!

Mid Day Tea Break!

Positive Thoughts to Share!

To All My Sisters in Recovery!

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ... 

enough money within her control to move out
and rent a place of her own,
even if she never wants to or needs to...
something perfect to wear if the employer,
or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .. 

a youth she's content to leave behind....a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to
retelling it in her old age....a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...
one friend who always makes her laugh... and one who lets her cry...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....... 

a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family...
eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems,
and a recipe for a meal,
that will make her guests feel honored...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .. 

a feeling of control over her destiny.....
how to fall in love without losing herself..
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... 

how to quit a job,
break up with a lover,
and confront a friend without;
ruining the friendship....
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW.... 

when to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK AWAY... 
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... 

that she can't change the length of her calves,
the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..
that her childhood may not have been perfect...but it's over...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... 

what she would and wouldn't do for love or more.....
how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW.. . 

whom she can trust,
whom she can't,
and why she shouldn't take it personally...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... 

where to go...
be it to her best friend's kitchen table..
or a charming Inn in the woods...
when her soul needs soothing...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... 

What she can and can't accomplish in a day...
a month...and a year... 

By Pamela Redmond Satran

Sick! *sniff... sniff*

Wonderful! This special weekend Homecoming... T.K. is up for king, he has a date for the dance, going to a football game on Friday, both of the kids are in the Homecoming parade... and I get a COLD! Although, this is the first time I have a cold since I was strokalicious in November... almost a year, not too shaggy.

What really sucks is that I can not take a cold pill... I used my neti pot a few times, but this is a quick fix.  I pumped myself with orange juice, vitamin C, water and hot tea... Hall's honey cough drops were my best friend!

It rained ALL weekend, it rained during Friday night's football game (the Shoremen won!), it rained the Homecoming parade (Eloise loved being on her school's float!), it rained while taking Homecoming dance photos... it was a terrible rainy time to get sick!

I slept all day on Sunday, it felt good, I am not good at resting, probably why I had a stroke!  It is day 5 of this darn cold, so an end has to be near... I made homemade chicken soup to kick start the end of the cold!

Here's to a healthy cold season to you all!

Thought for the Day

Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are.
Bernice Johnson Reagon


Amen! Hard to understand, until something happens and you see life's bigger picture!

A Thought for Today!

"Every day do something that will inch you closer to a better tomorrow." - Doug Firebaugh

Parent of an ADULT!

On Monday, September 12th, Tyler Kelsey (T.K.) Burk turned 18! How did this happen, when did my baby boy, my sweet mama's boy get to be 18 in front of my eyes, I am taking this pretty bad, I am sad!

Sounds crazy that I am sad, but I just love this guy, we have been through thick and thin, mostly just the two of us! He and P.J. can have conflict at times (my protective boy!) and I believe he liked being an only child (although he used to beg for a little brother and got Eloise!) But we are a family and are learning to communicate.



All grown up... so proud of my son!

 




My Little Guy... always a fan of food!

  

T.K. drove me to the hospital when I finally went to the hospital for my stroke... in my head, it was still just the Xanax! He stayed by my side for about 2 days, listening to the doctors and even staying all night in a very uncomfortable chair, listening to my "neighbor" asking for Jesus to take her up to heaven and calling out for help... she would also count all night too, neither one of us got any sleep that night!

If I am this upset with him turning 18, what will happen when he goes off to college next fall... oh Lordy, I will be a hot mess!

I am 39, have had 4 major strokes, going through "the change", loosing my bladder control and have an 18 year old son, not all in my original plan, but this plan is pretty good too, I have an awesome son and daughter, a fabulous supportive family, a great boyfriend with "living in sin" step children who make me giggle (of course P.J. and I have problems, but doesn't!), two crazy cats, a fun job that lets me use my imagination and helps pay the bills and I am alive... I love my backup plan... who needs their original plan!

I learned yesterday that T.K. has a homecoming date already and he has been nominated for homecoming king... that's my handsome boy, I am so proud of him... ( I won't get into his lazy, messy ways today)!!!!

I love you T.K.!

I love my Quirky self!

You all know I am nutty and I know I am very nutty, I march to my own music and like it, but some may not... I can't please everyone all of the time! I have been working on my confidence, it is improving and I am not letting the judgey judgers get me so down.


I’m a believer that everyone has something to offer and our quirks are all part of our charm. One of the delights of my life is connecting with others and I am liking more and more meeting new people and learning a fresh new approach to life and friendship. Having strokes really puts some things in a different order of importance.

So I "assume" these folks enjoy meeting me too.

It’s okay to assume the best wherever you go, (I am in pessimistic recovery also). Most people want to meet you and enjoy your company... if only you would introduce yourself. Most people want you to succeed in life and will offer the most amazing support to get there – if only you would ask. Expect that life will work out well, because, really... it’s supposed to. Life is mostly on your side, even if it doesn’t feel that way all the time. Sometimes the good bits are at the very bottom of the bowl... (under the brussel sprouts).

Of course, if you put yourself out there, it’s not going to work out sometimes (it sucks when this happens). You are going to say the wrong thing (I do all the time!), wear the wrong outfit (most days!), not get the joke... I’m absolutely sure of that – I never get the joke, mainly after the strokes, I’m telling you. I don’t know if it’s because I’m basically completely naive, immune to innuendo or just completely lacking in sophistication, but I never get the joke.

This is why I find myself so funny... There will be judgey judgers along the way, I’m absolutely sure of. I am certain that there is a section of the public who would take one look at me in my thrown-together clothes, messy hair, no makeup and distinct lack of labels and instantly judge me as being ‘lesser’. They give me snobby ‘look at her’ looks and turn their noses up.


But, don’t worry, I’m on to what they are thinking...


They’re really just jealous that I don’t care. They wish they didn’t care either. Anyone in their right mind would be happy not having to spend a boring hour a day blow drying their hair; wouldn’t mind finding 27 better uses for $2,000 than buying a single handbag; wants to stop never eating anything good just to fit a size 6; and, of course, is far too intelligent to ever judge others on their appearance alone.


See, they’re jealous. It’s the only sane explanation as to why they look me up and down like that.


It’s true, if you just trust your instinct to get out there and connect (can be scary out of your box), you’re brain will eventually stop telling you you can’t do something and start telling you you can. In time you won’t even notice the judgey judgers, I think they can go f*$@ themselves, you’ll be so busy concentrating on all the delightful, quirky, totally-themselves other people you’ll be meeting.


Oh, have confidence in you being you. Everyone else does!

What do you think the secret to confidence really is?

Why are some folks full of the stuff and others so unsure?

Lori and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day!

I work up this morning in a good mood, it was "Teacher jumper Tuesday", which I just thought of at about 5 AM!  I started water for my lemon tea while getting dressed and picked up Julie, my car pool partner in crime, after kissing my kids off to school.

My very, horrible day started after I discovered I forgot my sponge paint brush, which I needed for a work project, we are putting on a "life sized" Candyland game for a fundraiser... he is what my Peppermint Forest looks like so far.

Then I had learned that I could not be a presenter at an upcoming conference and go to a training out of town, remember that I did not turn off my tea pot, P.J. was home and turned it off after the lid melted into the pot (so very SAD!), could not do my reports, due to our MIS department, I did not know where I was staying out of town tomorrow and then co-workers were on my nerves! I took many big breathes during the day!

My speech was really off today which was also getting under my skin and started to stress me out... I felt like I looked like this with my slurred speech!

Just venting, I know that tomorrow is another day! (But some days just really suck and I had stuttering!)

Taste Buds!

I was a vegetarian fir over twenty years, only eating fish, I like fish, so I ate it.  I was never a fan of meat, I did not like it's texture or taste. Chicken and pork were just nasty to me... bacon smelled yummy and I made tofu bacon BLTs, but I could never eat stringy/bony chicken!

I did start eating beef once I had Eloise, I was very anemic and did not want a blood transfusion, so I agreed to eat red meat once a week, mainly putting ground beef into spaghetti sauce or Red Robin burgers!

A big win to my taste buds was chocolate... love me some chocolate anything! Almond M&Ms, Heath bars, Hersey Kisses, YUM! Not much of a sweet sugary candy eater.

I was a happy veg-head/chocoholic! ... then I had the Strokes!

I first started craving steak... Slim and Chubby's in Cleveland makes a great steak and has an awesome special on Mondays, I was craving steak and making them for lunch!

About 6 weeks into recovery, I starting thinking about chicken, I really dislike chicken!  About a week later, I decided to cook tenders... I took a bite and LOVED it! I made them the next day too!

Bacon is also AWESOME, so much better than tofu bacon, which I still can enjoy.  I still do not pork, besides the bacon (which is just crispy yumminess!) and I don't like turkey, it has a heavy taste.

Gyros are the bomb! ... but the best ever are HOT WINGS! I am currently having a love affair with hot wings.  First I loved the boneless wings, which are still AWESOME, but I have recently learned how to eat the boned hot wings... fabulous! Who would have thought BW3's fabulous sauces were good on chicken, not just on fries!

 
The best wings I have had are ZZ Bog Top's in Avon, Ohio... love them and dream about them!  It may be that I like the spiciness of the sauces, because I can feel my numb mouth when I eat spicy foods, but the total package is so satisfying!

Do I feel bad about eating and so so so so enjoying it, I thought I would, but I just love it.  I just try not to think about all the cruel things I know about the meat industry and buy free range chickens.

I am not a veg-head any longer, but I still love my veggies and tofu... I am just well-rounded!

Now, talking chocolate, it does nothing for me anymore... I do like a smore' or the occasional peanutbutter cup, but I am a sweet girl now, jaw breakers, bubble gum, lemon drops....

I am a weird-O!

A STROKE, Really!

Mid November of 2010 driving to Columbus, Ohio for a work related training, I felt a little funny while driving, but thought I just needed to eat. I went to training and felt a little funky a few times that day and decided I needed a big dinner, I went to dinner with my co-specialists and was ready for bed, a few of the ladies wanted my to go the local hospital because I was not myself. Did I listen, of course not, I went to bed and then decided to go home early from the training and go to the doctor... I drove 2 and a half hours to go to the doctor. My doctor told me I had a panic attack and my blood pressure elevated, he gave me an anxiety pill and BP medicine, told me to take it easy for the weekend and sent me home. I never listen, so I went to work the next day all loopy, which I thought was the anxiety pill... my co-workers thought I was drinking, I was racing around in office chairs and playing with another co-workers weave. My awesome co-worker, Julie had me cancel my appointments and I called my parents to come and get me ( I work in a tough section is Cleveland and did not want to leave my beautiful car)... did I think I was having a stroke yet... NO... it was the medicine making my loopy! So, my mother takes me shopping on the way home, shopping at Toys R Us with my 4 year old daughter as I was dancing, YES, dancing around the store, then we stopped at a thrift store. When I finally got home, I laid down and felt all funky, my right hand was all numb-like too. So, still, not thinking I was serious ill, I went to bed and when I woke up, I could not move my right hand at all, plus, I could not complete a sentence or figure out how to use my phone to call my doctor... my 17 year old son ended up driving me to the hospital... 30 minutes away... I had no sense of direction, so thank goodness for GPS on cell phones... Once I got to the hospital and they saw my all loopy and "lost", the nurse told me I most likely had a stroke. After a few hours later I found out I did have a major stroke and was transferred to Parma Hospital and was put in ICU Step down. HOW SCARY! I can't have a STROKE I am 38 years old! I work with children, I am a parent of 2 children and and a step parent to 3 more children. I was so scared... needles everywhere, BP cuffs, nurses, doctors... my son, TK was so brave, he called everyone he needed to call, my mother was a mess, my boyfriend was holding down the fort at home. All of this is because my Dad had his first stroke at 38 years old too... I wanted to be the favorite child, but not this way!