Let the Way of the Heart

On Sunday at church, we welcomes new members. With our welcoming ceremony, we said some powerful words to our newest patrons which mean a lot to me. I truly believe in letting go of negativity and not sweating the small stuff, which can be tough, even through recovery.

Together we said to the new members as a congregation:

"We promise to care for each other by demonstrating courtesy, by showing kindness, warmth and patience."

and then... which was the most POWERFUL...

"We promise to care for one another by acting with respect, and by quick to listen, 

SLOW TO JUDGE, and willing to negotiate."

What powerful words... "quick to listen and slow to judge". We all need to do this, it would heal so many disagreements, family issues, work issues and world problems.

As someone changed by a brain injury, I have learned to except change in my life, it does not always come easy, but I try. I also have learned to give folks their needed space and their time to heal.


Life is not easy, we face many challenges, so it was great to be moved on Sunday by these words. I hope you have enjoyed them too!

I grew up Catholic and attended Catholic school, I liked going to church, but in the last 10 years, my heart was not filled after. My mom, a wonderful Catholic did not me not attending church, so I went on a religious adventure and found the Unitarian Universalist church near my home. I fell in love! it is everything I am passionate about their principals. They believe in "one church, many paths"... I was nervous about trying a new church, me as the guilty Catholic was scared it was going to be a cult... but to my surprise, it was a very loving atmosphere filled with many ex-Catholics!


Here are the UU's Principals, if you would like read them -

There are seven principles which Unitarian Universalist congregations affirm and promote:

• The inherent worth and dignity of every person;
• Justice, equity and compassion in human relations;
• Acceptance of one another and encouragement to spiritual growth in our congregations;
• A free and responsible search for truth and meaning;
• The right of conscience and the use of the democratic process within our congregations and in society at large;
• The goal of world community with peace, liberty, and justice for all;
• Respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part.

Unitarian Universalism (UU) draws from many sources:

• Direct experience of that transcending mystery and wonder, affirmed in all cultures, which moves us to a renewal of the spirit and an openness to the forces which create and uphold life;
• Words and deeds of prophetic women and men which challenge us to confront powers and structures of evil with justice, compassion, and the transforming power of love;
• Wisdom from the world's religions which inspires us in our ethical and spiritual life;
• Jewish and Christian teachings which call us to respond to God's love by loving our neighbors as ourselves;
• Humanist teachings which counsel us to heed the guidance of reason and the results of science, and warn us against idolatries of the mind and spirit.
• Spiritual teachings of earth-centered traditions which celebrate the sacred circle of life and instruct us to live in harmony with the rhythms of nature.

These principles and sources of faith are the backbone of our religious community.

I leave church with a smile on my face and feeling like a good person. I feel I can grow spiritually, serve and grow here, I am glad I went on a spiritual journey to find our families new church.

I know I got "churchy" just now... BUT, I was moved by the quick to listen and slow to judge statement.

Here is to peace, love and happiness to your day!

Positive Thoughts to Share!

What I am Grateful For...

Gratitude is something that has been overlooked in my life, I was a bratty teen who wanted all the pretty things... now that I have been in dire straits lately, recovery really has me looking at life in a all new way... with a ton of gratitude! Here is what I am grateful in my life!



* I am grateful for my life!


* I am grateful for my recovery process, as long and as challenging it has been.


* I am grateful for my mom, my rock, best friend and hero!


* I am grateful for my family... I know I am a stinker!


* I am grateful for P.J. ... and for our many ups and many downs.


* I am grateful for my 2 beautiful children, they warm my heart and make me laugh everyday!


* I am grateful for Emma, Nathan and Jacob, who would not be in my life if not for P.J..


* I am grateful for my brain, as slow as it is, it is my one and only brain.


* I am thankful for my "special" right hand, it has shown me all about being challenged!


* I am thankful for my job, it is a perfect fit for me... Starting Point has been a wonderfully support place.


* I am grateful for Gloria and Cindy, I could not have two better bosses... I want to be Gloria when I grow up, I love her fire, sarcasm and love!


* I am grateful for Julie, my second mother, I love her wisdom and treasure our car stories!


* I am thankful for my long term memory.


* I am grateful that I have not lost my creativity.


* I am thankful that T.K. reminds me that I am losing my sense of humor, life gets crazy sometimes, I need to remember to always laugh!


* I am grateful that my friend Molly is in my life once again!


* I am grateful that I am typing, and getting most of the words correct!


* I am grateful to be reading at the 6th grade level... it could be worse!


* I am grateful for my Kindle, it has sparked a flame in my reading,


* I am thankful my doctors... they take good care of me!


* I am grateful for my ASI ladies, who are always there for me and my many questions!


* I am so thankful for Lynne and Alycia, they are my best guides!


* I am grateful for stroke, I would realize what I have if not for this scare!


* I am thankful for all the "Ah-ha!" moments I now have! They help me learn!


* I am thankful to be able to watch T.K. play football!


* I am super grateful for being here now!


* I am grateful for all the GOOD people in the world!


* I am grateful to have found West Shore Unitarian Universalist church, I really needed them!


* I’m grateful that I've made the right decision hundreds of times.


* I’m grateful that I've made the wrong decision thousands of times, and learned from them.


* I’m grateful that I've learned to be okay with my own weakness.


* I’m grateful for the Internet. It has influenced me more than anything else – in incredibly positive ways.


* I’m grateful for all the suffering I've gone through, since it’s made me appreciate everything so much more.


* I’m grateful that I have everything I need – food, clothes, shelter…


* I’m grateful that I've learned that I no longer have much to fear from life.


* I’m grateful that there are people who care about me.


* I’m grateful for all the help I've gotten over the years – even when I haven’t asked for it.


* I’m grateful that I know that happiness is a choice.


* I’m grateful that I live in a safe place and I don’t have anything to fear when I’m at home.


* I’m grateful that the Internet has leveled the playing field and shortened the distance between people so connections can be made so much more easily.


* I am thankful for music!


* I am thankful for chicken... never the thought the vegetarian I was would ever say this!


* I am grateful for water, I am drinking it so much more!


* I’m grateful that I have a good set of values.


* I’m grateful that I've always put in the hard work when I’ve had to.



* I’m grateful that there is so much beauty and joy to be had in living life.


* I’m grateful that there are artists of all kinds producing wonderful works for my eyes and ears!


* I’m grateful that people can change themselves if they try hard enough – I’m living proof of that.


* I am thankful for tea, iced and hot!


* I am grateful for lemons, that make it much easier to drink water more.


* I am thankful for the West Side Market!


* I am grateful for my two cats, they are so different, so glad that we saved them from the cat pound.


* I am thankful for my bike, it helps me exercise!


* I am grateful for date nights.


* I am also thankful for all of my other stroke survivors I have met over the past 11 months!


* I am grateful for love.


* I am grateful for forgiveness!


* I am grateful for the nurses and therapists that helped me get back to me!!!


* I am grateful for my words!

Live this Minute!

This minute is the most important one, because this minute is the one you can use. There is so much you can do in this minute if you’ll simply allow the best possibilities to unfold.  I am writing about my minute, I am using my minute wisely?  I could be exercising with this minute, playing with Eloise, baking a cake, talking to a friend... I am using this minute to share my thoughts with the world wide web!

Let go of the regrets and guilt and resentment you’ve carried with you from other times. See how foolish it is to be held back by fears about days that have not yet even arrived. There are many people I just do not care for, but I let go of the friction between us... it was hard, but worth the positive vibe!

Think of all the good things that truly mean so much to you. Give your focus to those things, and make use of this minute, right now and right here, to expand on that goodness in your world. My family, my positive relationships, romance, animals, laughing, reading again, being alive!

Don’t be concerned about what might or might not be, or what others might or might not think of you. Live instead from your authentic center, and make this minute one that adds value to your experience.

Though you may have good excuses for holding back, use this minute to move forward. Though the effort will not be easy, your life is worth the trouble.

 This minute is filled with promise and possibility. Right now is when you can transform it into real and lasting value, so do.

Love this minute... it is a gift!!

Heroes in my Recovery!

It is said that it takes a village to raise a child... well; it is taking North Eastern and Central Ohio to help this lady through recovery!

I have so many people to thank, I can even touch on the love, support and challenges my mom has been there for me... I can't thank and bless her enough! My dad is there to remind me that I want to heal and I do not want any more Strokes, he had more than me! T.K. is a regular young man with a stroke survivor mom and I know I can cause him stress and embarrass him, but he has been a trooper and the hero that got me safely to the hospital!  Eloise is a wonderful 5 year old who is helping me read again! P.J. is there as a person with a disability too and we learn from one another, we are both stubborn, but I am learning give and take with him and learning that I want to fully heal (someday!). 

My co-workers and supervisors and Starting Point have been angels on my shoulders... Julie is my rock, Cindy is my natural healer and Gloria is there for me always, with these three, I could recovery correctly, knowing that my job was there when I was ready to come back!  I have so many co-workers that help me with my recovery and I have reinforced them on taking their prescriptions daily!  My speech got bad once I went back to work... it was tough, my "Strokeaniese" is improving, but I still have daily speech exercises to do.

My OCCRRA folks in Columbus are always here for me support, I had my first stroke with them in Columbus, and not even knowing what was happening to me, their showers of cards and phone calls made me feel human! Alycia and Lynne were always there for me with all my crazy questions when I got back on the saddle at work!

I have the Strokes Suck social group on Facebook... what a wonderful and understanding group of people who are always to ask me about my day and my struggles; they remind me that there are others out there recovery like me! I can always count on them for an understanding shoulder to cry on!

I am not even discussing my medical team, who would think that at 38-39 years old you would need a medical team, Ken, my neurologist-assistant, Sue, my therapist, the many nurses and doctors at Kaiser and Parma hospital...

I have so many people and agencies that have made it possible for me to lead a positive life through my recovery! And most of you know what a brat, bitch, snot and monster I have been through this journey!



I love each and every one of you!

I Want the Chance to Grow Old...

I love this song... I love Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore... but more than loving them, I want to grow old with P.J. ... I need to get over my stubbornness and he can be selfish, but we can do it... relationships can take work, especially when you both have neurological issues!

I love these lyrics!

Enjoy!

I love my Quirky self!

You all know I am nutty and I know I am very nutty, I march to my own music and like it, but some may not... I can't please everyone all of the time! I have been working on my confidence, it is improving and I am not letting the judgey judgers get me so down.


I’m a believer that everyone has something to offer and our quirks are all part of our charm. One of the delights of my life is connecting with others and I am liking more and more meeting new people and learning a fresh new approach to life and friendship. Having strokes really puts some things in a different order of importance.

So I "assume" these folks enjoy meeting me too.

It’s okay to assume the best wherever you go, (I am in pessimistic recovery also). Most people want to meet you and enjoy your company... if only you would introduce yourself. Most people want you to succeed in life and will offer the most amazing support to get there – if only you would ask. Expect that life will work out well, because, really... it’s supposed to. Life is mostly on your side, even if it doesn’t feel that way all the time. Sometimes the good bits are at the very bottom of the bowl... (under the brussel sprouts).

Of course, if you put yourself out there, it’s not going to work out sometimes (it sucks when this happens). You are going to say the wrong thing (I do all the time!), wear the wrong outfit (most days!), not get the joke... I’m absolutely sure of that – I never get the joke, mainly after the strokes, I’m telling you. I don’t know if it’s because I’m basically completely naive, immune to innuendo or just completely lacking in sophistication, but I never get the joke.

This is why I find myself so funny... There will be judgey judgers along the way, I’m absolutely sure of. I am certain that there is a section of the public who would take one look at me in my thrown-together clothes, messy hair, no makeup and distinct lack of labels and instantly judge me as being ‘lesser’. They give me snobby ‘look at her’ looks and turn their noses up.


But, don’t worry, I’m on to what they are thinking...


They’re really just jealous that I don’t care. They wish they didn’t care either. Anyone in their right mind would be happy not having to spend a boring hour a day blow drying their hair; wouldn’t mind finding 27 better uses for $2,000 than buying a single handbag; wants to stop never eating anything good just to fit a size 6; and, of course, is far too intelligent to ever judge others on their appearance alone.


See, they’re jealous. It’s the only sane explanation as to why they look me up and down like that.


It’s true, if you just trust your instinct to get out there and connect (can be scary out of your box), you’re brain will eventually stop telling you you can’t do something and start telling you you can. In time you won’t even notice the judgey judgers, I think they can go f*$@ themselves, you’ll be so busy concentrating on all the delightful, quirky, totally-themselves other people you’ll be meeting.


Oh, have confidence in you being you. Everyone else does!

What do you think the secret to confidence really is?

Why are some folks full of the stuff and others so unsure?

Daily Wisdom!

"If you can't love yourself, how in the hell are you going to love somebody else? Can I get an AaaaaaMen?" - RuPaul

Real Love!

I adore this song, Real Love by The Beatles! I also love Adam Sandler's version in the movie Funny People.  Real love is so important, no frills... just being there for each other... a shoulder to lean on... to laugh at mistakes... to lift each other up when blue!

 Another song from the movie, which was not that funny, but endearing, was Warren Zevon's Keep My in your Heart:

    

 I want this song played at my wake... if you know me, I do not want a funeral, they are too sad. I want a fish fry with music and I want my prized possessions but into a pinata... they everyone can fight over my awesome beaded bracelets, necklaces and knitted wares! 

 Love everyone... life is too darn short and precious for silliness!

MS and Cerebral Vascular Disease... the match made in heaven!?

P.J. was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis in 2006 after Eloise was born, what a shock! Good times and bad times have come of the diagnoses. He has body pain, fatigue and tremors. I now have Cerebral Vascular Disease or my strokes under my belt... what a neurological household!

Since the strokes, I have become less stressed with organization, time keeper, laundry, keeping money in order... basically everything an adult should be on top of. P.J. on the other hand has OCD with organization, money, basically anything that has order. This is difficult for us, I just don't care, and it does not bother me. Now, I need to fix my financial life, this I know has got out of control, but the laundry or a clean closet is not high on my list. The dishes do need to be done before I go to bed, I am constantly sweeping, "Swiffering" and

mopping my wood floors and wiping down my antique window sills, but I am just happy to be playing with Eloise, beading, knitting or watching TV other than laundry! I am not a messy person, but P.J.'s part of the bed room is very neat... I have heard forever that opposites attract.

I also do what the neurologist advises me to do, I take my drugs, don't drink alcohol (red wine is OK), soda occasionally, NO COFFEE (can you hear me crying!!!!),

I am liking caffeine free hot teamore all the time, no fast food (sometimes). I lack the exercise, but I am tired when I get home... so I need to put exercise put back into my life. P.J. smokes, he has cut back on Heineken and Banana Bread beer, eats whatever he wants and he looses the weight... God has a bad sense of humor.I love PJ very much... we have good days, wonderful days and days were we can't look at one another... I know I need to get on track with organization and budgeting (what's a budget!?), he is a great guy and I want us both to heal healthier. He is helping my budget correctly, thank goodness and encouraged me to clean my closet, which feels good now that it is done.I love to see PJ smile and laugh, I am in love with his dimples! This summer has also been great to sit in the yard and talk or play on our cell phones. I love watching Criminal Minds with him and he picks on the show as not being "real"and watching Breaking Bad is the the best!

Here's to a neurological future filled with happiness and new memories that I can remember!