Monday, January 23, 2012

Heavy Hearted

I am an upbeat person, I have flaws, who does not have flaws.

I am a stubborn person, which is why I believe I have come so far in my stroke recovery.

I have learned to allow others to help me, this was difficult for me, I like to do things for myself (just like my even more stubborn daughter!).

I take pride in my recovery, I have saw other stroke survivors at the hospital and therapy appointments that do not do their homework or challenge themselves.  I have worked so hard everyday to have what little material possessions, they are material... not people, family, friends... this is what matters, sure, I LOVE getting new Pandora beads for my bracelet or browsing Vera Bradley purses at the mall... but it is just stuff.

BUT... I need to get ugly of a hot second! ...

What gives me a heavy heart is the people touching my family and life in a negative way.  Jealousy and materialistic characteristics are getting in the way of their own hard work.  In life, hard work shows and taking the easy way out does not get you very far.  This person or two are really hurting me and my best friend.  Money comes and goes, but family is there forever... these people are the lowest people I know and wish they knew what hard work was and would focus on their problems instead of putting them on us.  Work hard to get what you want, do not try to bully others and take what they work for.  These people are so ugly in my eyes and that sad thing is that they claim to be God fearing individuals, would Jesus ruin someone's life for money... would Jesus break apart a family.

Any type of recovery is tough... health recovery, money recovery, loss of a loved one recovery... any type of recovery takes work... so please... keep my tiny family in your prayers and send your fabulous positive vibes our way so that this cancer in our lives decides to make the right decision and work on their own issues and leave us out.

Stress is a killer, the silent killer and I do not need this stress in my life.  Handle your problems, seek help if needed... but never find the easy out.

I am taking the high road and not dragging this ungodly person's name through the mud, but she or these people need to clean up her own family and leave ours alone... stop pulling on our purse strings an move on. I have also noticed that even with my aphasia, I can clearly say... BITCH and F***ING BITCH comes out quite clear also. I have learned forgiveness and letting go through therapy and that life is too short... but this forgiveness will be a long time coming, if any forgiveness... but I will let it go... I will let these people out of my life and their stress!

I am now stepping down off the soap box... it feels good to vent on the internet! Sorry for being a slight bummer.


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