Tuesday, May 29, 2012

My New Life as a Soccer Mama

I think I have said it before, since the strokes, I don't like all social settings, I have to feel secure... I am very personable and very social, but I have an issue with strangers now. I love my family, friends and co-workers, I even love the schools I work with and the folks that attend my trainings, but I have issues with new people. TK is graduating, I had a blast with all the great friends I have met through his school, sports and mainly football... I have WONDERFUL friends through the world of football... now that Eloise is in kindergarten and almost 1st grade, I do not really like the parents, or I should say I do not like them socially. I had a bunch of friends and I love them very much. I don't know these people and I do not feel confident around them, I feel like a studdering fool around them and can't let my guard down. This is very unlike me. I have taken Eloise to birthday parties and on play dates and have even had tea at the park with parents, but I just don't like it... but I do it for Eloise. Now she is in soccer, and she is an AWESOME soccer player, very aggressive and a go getter, I love it, I love sports and adore watching my children play their team sports! I have never been very exposed to the world of soccer, my stepson Nate played and I loved watching him play, but I am not used to the days of team snack after the games, field chairs, sunscreen and socializing with these parents that come to the field with their rhinestone encrusted back pocket jeans and full make up at 9 AM on a Saturday, I am in my yoga pants and my "Hello,is it me your looking for" Lionel Richie t-shirt... the other spectators are lucky if I get a bra on.  

I was a young parent with TK, I was 21... so I am an older parent with Eloise, but the other soccer parents are a wide range of ages.  I just feel like an outsider, but it is OK... I am just not ready for the mini van or the car pooling.... I do not think most of these other mothers work, I work full time and work my butt off, I do not have the time to go the the gym and look good in the rhinestone jeans, but I like myself and I am slowly opening up to these soccer people.  

My Panther team mate taking a water break!
Eloise has a met a friend, Sofia, she is also in kindergarten and I like her parents and I am comfortable with talking to them.  I may just be a big baby, but this starting over at kindergarten when TK is now graduating from high school is just hard on me.  I am not a super hero and it is hard for me to understand that I do not have to be bothered with my speech issues and who cares if I have now short term memory, most of my other friends have too much on their plates and are slowly loosing minds too.

I love watching Eloise play soccer and I think I will be in the soccer world for a long time, so her smiles make it all worth my struggling with confidence and she is pushing me out of my comfort zone without even know she is helping her mama out!

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